As a 10-year-old, I had no idea whatsoever as to what menstruation meant. Funnily I thought, ‘why should a guy be interested of what happens to a woman’s body?’ It was innocent then but in hindsight it seemed insensitive. But frankly everyone should know what transpires when a woman goes through that pit of pain and the agony that surrounds it.
So, here’s how my experience unfolded. As a child there are vivid memories of watching ads on television by Whisper and Stayfree. Most of the boys I knew had a gala laughing at these ads but I failed to decode how was it helping women! Growing up, for some strange reason I was always inquisitive about these so called ‘pads’, in women’s purses and bags. Perplexed, I used to ask my sister, ‘what is this, a fragrant powder or a sports wear?’ You can roll on floor laughing, I was a kid 😊
Mistaking my naivetés for rude-fun my sister warned to tell our father if I spoke about it once again!
Never a man to mess with my father’s temper, I quietly obliged.
The second instance though was in fact, sad and worrisome. Older women in my family scolded me to not to go near my mother for a few days for god forbid, unfathomable reasons. Now, why would women have a problem with another woman? Men are the prima facie causing discomfort to women, right? Well some feminists still maintain this cliché 😉 Coming back, those were days filled with immense confusion. But forget comforting my mother, something else made me sick to my stomach as a kid. Lying in the corner of a room, quietly all by herself, it seemed like she bore a punishment. No one went near her, food was given in different utensils and so were her clothes washed off separately. And after a couple of days normalcy resumed but next month, the same story again unfolded. Raging with fury, I told my mother, ‘why do they do this to you?’ She responded, ‘I can’t tell you beta, let’s just say, we will talk when you grow up’. Now when I know the truth, I feel sorry for my mother and even more so for thousands of women across India. Treating women as untouchables during her menses has been prevalent across almost every home. More than education, sadly common sense has failed to evoke understanding among people. Women are made to work, cook, clean, comfort her man, run the show, perform every role in the book without having the luxury to say NO. Let’s accept the fact, coming from women, monthly cycles aren’t pleasant! They prefer being quiet, some like to vent, some talk, some lay still in their beds, some indulge in binge eating, hordes of things that they do and it is completely fine. Considering how much balance they bring to our life, we too can become accommodating and endure her mood swings, right? 😊
Among many a problem that leave women red faced are, lack of hygienic washrooms, insensitivity from their family/society when they menstruate, lack of rest, availability of sanitary napkins in rural areas and lastly little or no education on menstrual hygiene. Period Leave has long been talked about, but little has been done by corporates or government on the same. Yes, women do become grumpy, during these times, but wouldn’t it help their cause if we altered our lifestyle, the system in general, so that these painful couple of days can be peacefully endured? Barring women from visiting temples and performing rituals, confining them, behaving weirdly when it is perfectly normal for her to have such an experience, making her to walk the extra mile when we know, that their body can’t take it, is asking too much from them.
Menstruation can be a tough time for a woman, with cramps,bloated stomach an anxiety, ut an endurable one, subjected that significant emphasis is laid upon to educate girls from a young age on how important is it to have menstrual hygiene.
They need to be enlightened that it is completely right to take rest, to go see a doctor if pain persists, not to be ashamed that such a phenomenon occurs every month once in their body. It is not a TABOO!
Light should also be thrown upon boys and even adult males who despite being aware of the situation fail to help the women in their family/life during such privy times.
Is it too much to ask for? Can't men bring some respite and joy to the women in their lives even for a single day?
Is it too much to ask for? Can't men bring some respite and joy to the women in their lives even for a single day?
‘That time of the month’, a topic still considered a taboo to be spoken of, a gravitas still left unresolved, a pain that a woman alone endures. It is an irony, in a country where we worship women, we fail to make her life comfortable and less distressing.
I feel now is the time to openly speak about menstruation and stamp the fact for once and for all, that red is the color that glorifies a woman.
Here’s an excerpt from one of my poems dedicated to all the women. P.s. without you, there will never be any of us. You are the reason for our existence. A big thank you and love to all the women around.
She wears sindhoor on her head, she colors it red,
The why is menstruation a taboo, why isn’t she subjected with flair?